Chin hair
You’re going to have to delve deep into that cluttered make up bag to find those long-lost tweezers for this risky task. Who’d have thought that hair could grow out of your chin anyway? Its only until that gust of wind comes and it’s flying solo you know you have a problem. Luckily, it isn’t visible to the naked eye, however as soon as you turn that mirror to the magnified side, it’s there staring you straight in the face.
That noise you make when you are getting up
You’ve been sitting watching your favourite drama, probably with a glass of wine and a mountain of chocolate. You get up for the wee you’ve needed since the last advert, you get up resembling someone who’s 9 months pregnant (but realise it’s just a chocolate baby) you let out an ‘ooft’. Did I just let out an ‘ooft’? Yes, yes you did.
Instagram
Or just social media in general. Your kids have probably set you up on all forms of social media, explained each one for all of 5 mins, stormed off because you don’t get it and now you are left to your own devices. Looks like a picture of the garden and the lemon drizzle cake you baked earlier will be your best bet. You get your first like from ‘Sandra’ who you went to school with 20 years ago – winning.
Menopause
Although at 45 you might not be there yet, if you are in your 50s, you know. The dreaded menopause. It has got that bad that you could stop traffic with how red your face is. Which, in case of an emergency could potentially be a good thing – if there’s an accident, or a cat in the road. Either that or you look like you just jumped out of the shower, so you helplessly scuffle in the bottom of your bag that might as well be a bottomless pit. Trying to find something durable enough to waft some air your way. We will just leave it at that.
Staying in
You’re at the point where if you are invited out on an evening, you make sure you are home by 10. It gets worth when you hit 50, if it’s after 6 you aren’t going anywhere - lunch is it!
Bladder
Now this could get messy. You can blame the children for this one. Bladder control is something of the past. Why is it you’ve held on for so long, yet you see your front door, getting your keys out ready and, bam the rest is history. The puddle might as well swallow you up.
Forgetfulness
The term ‘losing your marbles’ might just ring true. If you have ever experienced going to the shop and walking out with nothing that you went in for or you’ve forgotten where you parked your car in the multi-story carpark - us too!
Skin changes
Your hands start looking like your mother’s hands, (nothing wrong with that) that’s when you know. Pinch test: Well let’s just say your skin might as well stay up, it’s never coming back down.
It’s harder to lose weight
Gone are the days when you could cut out bread for a week and loose 5lbs. So, you might as well eat it, embrace it. But there is good news if you eat healthy par some bread and cheese, taking supplements and doing the odd bit of exercise then you just loose some!
Sex
Yes, you read right. Now for the good news, your sex drive will increase. Forget doom and gloom in the bedroom. It’s time to have some fun (If you’re not already)
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